Is being cool ever cool?

Have you ever really thought about what makes someone truly cool?

To be honest the concept of 'coolness' is something I've always hated, because to me it smacks of unbearable fuckwittery. But when I eventually figured out why that was, I discovered that it wasn't actually 'coolness' I hated - it's what I would call 'superficial coolness'.

Let me explain what the fuck I'm talking about before you collect your pension.

The way I see it, people tend to define coolness as one of two things.

The first is being bang on trend; that is, up to date with the latest fashion, the most popular music, the hottest new TV shows. Let's call these people 'Trendies'.



The second is avoiding the 'mainstream' at all costs; that is, creating unique outfits, listening to the most obscure of indie music, watching The Mighty Boosh. Let’s call these people 'Kooks'.



The funny thing is, even though Trendies and Kooks are both seen as 'cool', they definitely don't see each other that way and often regard the other with complete disdain. Kooks see Trendies as sheep who blindly follow others into the latest fads instead of thinking for themselves. Trendies see Kooks as annoying smug people who are being different just for the sake of it.

Personally, I think that Trendies and Kooks are both spot on and yet also talking absolute testes.

Dealing with all things testicular first; the fact is, both philosophies take an enormous amount of effort to stick with. Whether it be keeping up to date with all things hip or seeking out the vague and obscure, the amount of time and research that Trendies and Kooks need to invest can't be denied. And let's face it - if they didn't genuinely enjoy the things they claim to enjoy, they wouldn't say they liked them at all.

But having said that, both Trendies and Kooks see a kind of denial in the other, and there I think they do have a point. Do Trendies really only have the capacity to enjoy things so hot they could melt Katy Price down to her human components (assuming she is human)? Are Kooks really incapable of enjoying something liked by more people than the population of a Welsh hamlet? In both cases, I suspect not.

So with all that said, can't we conclude that both groups are, in fact, the coolest of the cool in their own way?

Well, it depends on how you think about it (and whether at this point you still give a shit), but I'm going to say no. Because the denial in both groups hints at what I would say is the most uncool thing in the world - caring about what other people think and letting it influence how you express yourself.
This effect is obvious in the Trendies camp - what's 'hot' is defined by what other people think.



But the effect is just as pronounced, although less obvious until you think about it, with the Kooks. For them, the 'mainstream' goes against everything they stand for. And as the mainstream is also defined by the tastes of the majority, Kooks are just as influenced by what other people think - only in their case, they're influenced in the opposite direction. Another way Kooks are sometimes influenced by other people, which for them is kind of ironic, is that they often end up forming what you might call a minority mainstream where you could even argue that they're also 'sheep' following a group. Goths are a great example, and I think they demonstrate that members of minority mainstreams are often even more similar to each other than the majority mainstream they're so keen on avoiding.



So how can Trendies or Kooks ever be TRULY cool, when their 'coolness' is so influenced by others?

Now, the more canny reader is probably thinking that I've used some pretty broad strokes in this blog, and they'd be right. The truth is, while some people clearly fall into either the Trendy or the Kook camps, most of us are guilty of falling into both at one time or another. I know I have, especially in my younger days - pretending to support Liverpool F.C. in a school where being male and not giving a cat's cock about football was seriously uncool springs to mind.

I like to think I've improved as I've got older. I still have my moments, but on the whole I really don't care how popular or unpopular, mainstream or independent, my tastes are. Lost, chinos, The Walking Dead, Coldplay, Elbow, In Treatment and physics all give me pleasure.

Ultimately, it all comes down to your personal definition of 'cool'. But if you agree with mine, we can come to an interesting conclusion.

The most uncool person in the world, is the most cool person in the world.


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